HEAD TO HEAD BRAWL ’88-I can’t choose on my own!

For all the well-deserved flack I give the eighties for its complete inability to produce, you know, GOOD films, I am forced, at emotional gunpoint, to admit that they had a solid stranglehold on FUN films. If you’re looking for prestige dramas and cinematic classics, look away, ye mortal. If you’re in the mood for something about a wacky high school though….oh boy. Welcome to the 80s, I am sure we’ll have a bunch of things you’ll like here. What’s that you say? You also like when a movie is about a man who causes explosions to happen? Oh my, you are clearly of quite discerning tastes! May I take you to our 80s V.I.P. section?

So while 1988 doesn’t have any big, stand-out films to stand the test of time, no great pillars of the cinematic canon, it does have a surprising number of movies I can pop in just whenever and enjoy. Beetlejuice came out in ’88, as did Big. The first Naked Gun movie came out that year, and all three of those movies are pretty dang hilarious. It was a watershed year for Japanese animation, coming out with the classics My Neighbor Totoro, Akira, and all-time winner for most depressing movie of all time, Grave of the Fireflies. Freakin’ Die Hard was in ’88. I was considering just saying to hell with it and naming Die Hard the best movie of the year, even. How can you, a sane person, not kinda love Die Hard?

But no, instead, I’m going to use space to talk about two comedies of that year, both of which I love dearly, but neither of which I can definitively name as the best of the year. Comedies, as I’ve ranted about before here, are the unloved stepchildren of the cinematic world, and are all too frequently associated with their worst members. But oh so often they deliver something of true substance, and that happened twice in 1988, with A Fish Called Wanda and Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Both spectacular, unique films, that manage to be hilarious while maintaining great characters and stellar imagery. But there can only be one!

As we are a society famished for competition and bloodshed, let’s add some here: YOU DECIDE AMERICA! Which one of these films is better? Comment for once on my God dammed blog and let me know what you think.

I’ll provide the cases for both competitors, of course:

No six foot tall sentient fish in this movie, even though that was ALL THE RAGE in 1988.

A FISH CALLED WANDA: Directed by Charles Crichton, 93% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I needn’t tell you, the intelligent, right-thinking person reading this, of the immeasurable, profound effect Monty Python has had on the history of comedy and cinema. Is there any other group in history so celebrated for their humor? My brain immediately answered that question with the terrible joke ‘Maybe Congress!”, but that joke is hacky and you all deserve better.

This isn’t a Monty Python movie per sae, but its fingerprints are all over it, more specifically John Cleese and Michael Palin’s fingerprints. The satirization of English stuffiness, its self-righteousness, the funny wigs they make their lawyers wear, all of this is classic Python and all of this is on full display here. It’s an absurd little comedy that manages to still seem somewhat real, somehow manages to run a man over with a steamroller and make you think ‘okay, yes, this takes place in the real world’.

Most of this is pure character work, and that’s what sets A Fish Called Wanda apart from most comedies. Archie Leach, John Cleese’s character and ostensible hero, would be nothing more than a henpecked coward with a stuffy voice in a lesser comedy. Here, there’s such depth to him. He’s smart, he speaks multiple languages, and he’s deeply unhappy with his life. You can see him falling in love with Wanda, half because she’s alluring and half because he realizes everything he’s built up all his life has been a big disappointment. All the best comedy has character behind it, and this is the sort of film that takes a lot of time and makes you understand who this person is, and why they’re sad that they just accidentally crushed a dog with a safe.

Not to mention Kevin Klein, who plays as much of a straight caricature as the movie features, the swaggering, arrogant, English-hating Otto, got a freaking Best Supporting Actor nomination for his role. Can you believe that? Seriously, imagine Jonah Hill getting a Supporting Actor nomination for The Interview. That sort of thing is just unheard of.

A Fish called Wanda is an incredibly funny, refreshingly intelligent, and simply well-plotted film. In terms of character and story, comedies really don’t get much better.

It also features the single best comeback in movie history, as seen here:

You know what? Klein deserved his Oscar from that line alone.

Curiously, this movie DOES feature a sentient talking fish. What does it MEAN?

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT: Directed by Robert Zemeckis, 98% on Rotten Tomatoes

AND IN THIS CORNER: The film that bravely smashes two genres head on like trains in a math class word problem, it’s Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a film that’s almost impossible not to like.

As genres, noir and animation are about as far apart as you can get. It’s basically there in the name. Which is why the idea to smash them together simultaneously seems insane and also weird that nobody did it before Roger Rabbit.

And it is VERY weird how well it all works out. Instead of clashing against each other, the tropes of the two genres work together so perfectly to create a world that feels far more real than so many movie worlds with only live-action performers. Of course there’d be an uneasy tension between humans are cartoons. Of course cartoons would gets jobs as entertainers. Of course Betty Boop would play the role of the sad washed up former starlet, and Donald Duck and Daffy Duck would DEFINITELY have a rivalry where they shoot cannons at each other.

By taking the wacky impossibility of the cartoon universe and seeing how it would play out next to a more real one, Who Framed Roger Rabbit manages several things at once, and does each one well. It’s funny, it’s dramatic, it’s…confusingly sexy, and above all, it’s a solid story that would fit comfortably in either of its genres.

There’s something I absolutely love about Roger himself, too. He’s pure entertainment, to the point where that’s his greatest weakness. He just wants to make people laugh all the time. He loves the classics, studies his art, and tries to translate that into mirth and merriment for everyone he meets, even the most dour man in the world. Is there a character in film more noble in that sense? Probably, I dunno.

So there you have it. Two absolutely great comedies from 1988, two fantastic films that do more than simply create chuckles. Which one is superior? Only you, and probably literally anybody else who has seen both films, can decide!

THE BEST MOVIE OF 1989….IS PROBABLY NOT THIS ONE BUT I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH.

Listen. If I really really thought about, and thought of the multiple vague criteria that determines what makes a movie the best of the year, at least in that sense that we give big awards to and feel ‘important’ about, then I GUESS probably I’d have to say My Left Foot for 1989. It’s a good movie, Day-Lewis’ performance is stellar, and it is certainly a biopic done RIGHT: It tells the story of someone audiences probably wouldn’t  know about otherwise, and humanizes him without canonizing him. It’s a very important film for a lot of reasons. Coming up number two in that weird nebulous space we’re talking about here would probably be Sex, Lies, and Videotape, (Directed by Stephen Soderbergh, 98% on Rotten Tomatoes), as it is a fun little film that must have been utterly DARING in the late 80s, talking about all that sex with all those people. In sheer ballsiness, yeah, that movie is pretty dang hard to beat.

But I’m going to use this space to NOT talk about these movies. They’re good movies, they deserve recognition, but I’m so so often at a point where there’s only so much I can talk about when it comes to good movies that people have already noticed are good. Instead, I’m going to spend some time discussing a film which would never even come close to winning Best Picture even in ideal conditions. A film that seems to exist in the lower and more popculture-y tier of film that a lot of people look down upon just because it exists mostly to entertain. A film that many of you have probably seen, but which I’m betting most of you haven’t taken the time to properly appreciate.

A film which, I am being honest here, might indeed be my personal favorite movie of all time. This is a different criteria than ‘best’ movie of all time, certainly. But, in my heart of hearts, there’s really only one movie that has remained so consistently high on my personal list for literally as long as I can remember:

Mother flippin’ ADVENTURE.

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST FREAKIN’ CRUSADE: Directed by Stephen Spielberg, 88% on Rotten Tomatoes.

LISTEN. This is a perfect movie. Others are more powerful with their emotions, others are more culturally significant, others are better museums of expert-level cinematography and writing.

But Last Crusade doesn’t set out to be any of these things. It sets out to be a super fun, comedic adventure film, and it does that better than anything else. There isn’t a single misstep here, not a scene or a character and hardly even a line that does not serve somehow to increase tension, or make the audience laugh, or just give a general sense of nostalgic adventure, the kind that could never happen in the real world, but is just so pulpy and thrilling and desirable.

This isn’t trying for anything higher, and it doesn’t need to. At the very tip-top most, it’s a story of a father and son reconciling, and it does that well. At the very least, it’s the story of a cool guy who punches Nazis, and it does that REALLY well. So many Nazis get punched! So few Nazis DON’T get punched. This is, ultimately, the only metric of quality anybody really needs.

“But Alex.” You are already saying as you shake your monitor in rage. “Everybody knows that Raiders of the Lost Arc is the better film, and I will scream incessantly until you admit that as well. AHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHHHH!” You can stop screaming, because you’re probably right! Raiders is undeniably amazing and I ALSO love that movie. It is original and brilliant and has more classic, timeless scenes than most films have scenes. In many, many ways Raiders is the superior film. But still. When we talk about, specifically, what movie gets ME going, what movie just completely connects with that innate, powerful desire to go on an adventure and get by on adrenaline and the skin of my teeth, absolutely nothing does it the way Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade does. Please stop screaming. There are children in the next room.

Take, for example, the opening scene, giving us great shots of Utah, surprisingly plausible origin stories for many of Indy’s characteristics, and an incredibly fun, incredibly exciting chase that lasts for a good ten minutes. It’s a bit wink-wink-nudge-nudge-y with some of the references to the other films, but it really captures that sense of open exploration, that primal idea that excitement and adventure is easy enough to stumble upon so long as you were brave and good. This film gets right down to the pure, adventure story source code and pulls as much sweet, sweet adventure as it can from it. Here! Here’s a tiny adventure to start off your bigger adventure:

And it’s FUNNY. Sean Connery and Harrison Ford have a surprisingly excellent chemistry going on as father and son, griping with each other, playing off each other, each capable of making very strong jokes that actually match their characters and relationship. How many actual comedies can say the same? How many laugh out loud moments are as good as this one, right here:

Hitler shows up! All seems lost! Even Indy can’t compete! But then the movie plays the sliest God damned trick ever. Hitler doesn’t give a shit about Indiana Jones or the Holy Grail. He’s too busy with Hitler stuff. He just happens to be there. I’ve seen this scene a hundred times and I still find it funny.

But what really, truly gets me, what brings me back to this movie are the myriad of excellent shot, remarkably paced, and perfectly performed bits of action. Like I said earlier: this is the perfect Platonic form of the action/adventure film. Each set piece manages to be original and fun, and clearly made by the best in the industry during their prime. I defy you to think up a better set of action sequences. The motorcycle chase? That bit where they’re tied up in the burning Nazi castle? And of course, my personal favorite, the mother flippin’ tank chase scene:

In terms of sheer excitement and fun, I think this might be my favorite scene in all of moviedom. It just maintains the excitement for so long, building and building, continuously adding new moving parts. There’s funny little moments in it, bits where it very much looks like Indy’s doomed, and never forgets the basic excellence of a good fist fight. Not to mention that my primal lizard brain lights up to maximum when it hears “Cool guy fights a tank….USING NOTHING BUT A HORSE AND SOME ROCKS”. This is exactly with Indiana Jones is about. Is there a better sequence in all of the much-maligned Adventure genre? I dunno, probably not. I like this one a lot.

Listen. LISTEN. I like a lot of movies. I appreciate a whole lot more. I love a good handful of them. I love love love this movie. It’s airy and meaningless, but it does all that so well that I cannot hell but think highly of it. Movies can strive to be art. Movies can strive to provoke important questions and all audiences to action. But let us not think of movies that strive to be maximum entertaining as any less than these, especially when the results are just so damn good. Appreciate the fun! That’s part of why we’re here!

MY FAVORITE FILM OF 1993: You are killing me, Smalls

Listen.

If there’s a better film that came out in 1993 than Schindler’s List, I don’t know about it. It’s a masterpiece! It’s a perfect film. What do I mean by that? Simple: It sets out to do a certain thing (in this case, dramatize the Holocaust in a way that’s both unflinchingly real and somehow realistic) and it succeeds with an absolute minimum of excess or flubs. The worst you can say of the film is that it is over serious, but it is TRYING to be serious, and thus that complaint is a personal preference, not a slight on the film making.

So, what the hell, the Academy made the right choice. Good for them! Good for Schindler’s List!

Since we’re kinda, sorta, only a little bit on the subject, let’s talk about some other perfect films of that year. Again, these are not the best films in the world, in that vague sense of ‘best’ness that we can’t really define but can recognize when it’s there. They’re not as good as films as Schindler’s, in the vague sense of ‘what should win Best Picture”. Same deal there.

But they’re movies that totally succeed at what they’re attempting, they’re films I will watch at almost any time. They’re easily amongst my favorite movies, which is actually a pretty long list, so take that part with a grain of salt.

I could watch this movie….FOR.EV.ER.

THE SANDLOT: Directed by David Mickey Evans, a misleading 57% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Listen.

The Sandlot is the greatest sports film of all time.

I know! I know! That could easily be seen as a ridiculous thing to say, but think about it. REALLY think about it. The Sandlot isn’t about being good at a sport, really. Only Benny “The Jet” Rodriquez is any decent out of any of the characters. There’s no big championship at the end of the film, no trophies, no cheering crows. The movie isn’t about that. Instead, it reaches deep into the actual use-value of sport, of the team: to bring people together under a common banner, to forge interpersonal relationships, and really, really, to give kids something to do in the summer.

And that’s what I really love about this movie. It’s so deeply entrenched in a childhood summer, not the real thing, of course, but the mythical reality of it, the summer vacation that exists in our heads as adults, as we look back and think about how lucky we were as kids, how the friends we had back then were the greatest friends we ever had. The same for baseball, too: real life baseball can be…let’s a face it…a boring affair. But here baseball is rife with mystery, with myth, with a mystical sense that never quite makes sense but is so much more enjoyable for it. A ball hit so hard it comes out of its casing is a dark omen. The dog in the neighboring backyard isn’t a dog, but a kid-eating monster. Babe Ruth isn’t a man, but a ghost, a hero, someone so big he fills every thought.

It’s just such a more enjoyable way to approach a sport film than the “we’re not a very good team but now we came together and we win championships” plot we see so often otherwise. Plus so so many memorable lines. “You play ball like a GIRL” is probably my all-time favorite movie putdown.

*snap snap*

ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES: Directed by Barry Sonnenfiel, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes

Okay so maybe this movie isn’t ‘perfect’, per sae. Fine, whatever. My blog, do what I want. But it’s almost Thanksgiving, and my family watches this movie every year, not just because of the amazing Thanksgiving play scene, which I offer to you here:

but because this movie is freaking funny. I don’t need to justify that! It’s a goofy comedy in which most of the characters say something that normally seems like a bad thing, but the characters think it is a good thing. The major conflict is that a baby is cute and adorable.

But I love this movie. I love it to bits. Joan Cusack is perfect. Raul Julia and Anjelica Huston have a relationship that probably influenced my own interactions with women a little too much.

It’s just a clever, well-made, funny film with no real low points. It features Christopher Lloyd in an explosion. What do you WANT from me, people?

Billy Murray is clearly not trying at all at this photo shoot.

GROUNDHOG DAY: Directed by Harold “Egon” Ramis, 97% on Rotten Tomatoes

I don’t need to tell you how great Groundhog Day is. You should KNOW how great Groundhog Day is, and not need a blog to tell you about it. Here’s one of the most original scripts of all time, full of genuine pathos and interesting ruminations on eternity and man’s place in it, a modern day Sisyphean tale with one of our best comedic actors.

This should be nothing more than a gimmick movie, a funny little twist on a romantic comedy. He falls in love but also he repeats the same day over and over! It would be so easy to screw this movie up, but somehow with Ramis’ direction and script combined with Murray’s ability to make literally any movie funny, we get the crown jewel of the science-fiction-adjacent film.

God dammit, what can I even say? Go watch Groundhog Day. Or wait until actual Groundhog Day to watch it, whatever. Just promise me you’ll watch it, okay? Do it for me.